I love to go out, don't get me wrong but there a just a few things that I don't like...
1- You can never seem to wear white without someone bumping into you and spilling all their beer down you.
2- The girl who you dislike decides to come up to you and pretends you are best friends and asks to take a selfie with you. No thanks. I’d rather not
3- Someone lets off a fart and it absolute stinks. Honestly if you have never been clubbing before or aren’t legal yet you have all this to come.
4- Having to repeat your drink order a million times because no one can is able to hear you
5- Why is it the bouncers think they are Simon Cowells security guards? Like chill outttttttt. Honestly I know they have to take their job seriously because there are a lot of drunk idiots around all manifesting in one place but seriously, crack a smile.
6- You meet someone on a night out and they approach you, but at this point you’re quite under the influence and you can’t tell whether they’re good looking or not.
7- When the DJ decides to play the sameeee old boring music. Well done Mr DJ you really know how to work a crowd.
8- Always having to take one for the team and going outside with your friend that smokes like a chimney and feeling like your about to absolutely freeze to death
9- Perverts who think its ok to touch you like you are a piece of meat. IT IS NOT OK. I mean if you touched me like that in board daylight in the bloody street that would be a criminal offence. But noooo because it’s in a nightclub it’s become acceptable. Nope I don’t think so matey.
10- When people randomly buy you a drink. Now when I first started going out I was totally oblivious to people buying you drinks and stuff, I don’t even think it occurred to me…when someone bought me a drink the first time I accepted it BUT to be fair I was there when he bought it so I knew he hadn’t like spiked it or anything but recently I’ve been sat down with a few girls and people have been turning up handed me glasses of champagne etc and I’m like Noooo!! 1) I can’t accept your drink because you could of blooming spiked that, 2) You’ve just gone and wasted your money because now I’m going to have to politely accept it and make my excuses to go and throw it down the toilet 3) I can’t say no because then I just come across as rude and 4) Now that I’ve actually taken the drink off you I feel obliged to actually sit here now and get to know you when all I want to do is dance WITH MY GIRLS. Do you see the problem here?